I am terrible at receiving gifts and not much better at letting people do things for me. Ask my family. They would rather do anything than give me a gift. And I'm not the only one. Many of us become plagued with guilt, expectations of reciprocity, a loss of power or control, even shame when we take what is being offered to us.
Graciously receiving requires vulnerability and openness. We allow the giver to impact us, to deepen the connection between us. And while it may be scary, isn't it what we're striving for? More intimate relationships? A deeper, more connected life?
While my family and friends probably haven't noticed, I've been better at receiving over the years. I recently moved and my friend Niki offered to drive my car the 100+ miles to my new home and take the train home. When she offered, my first instinct was "No way." It was too much to ask. But knowing Niki, she wanted to have this adventure. She wanted to come see me in my new home and she wanted to help me, as friends do. So I said yes.
And then a funny thing happened; both Niki and I got something out of it. We had a great time when she came to visit (accidentally destroying the better half of an aisle display in an overstocked Bed Bath and Beyond, a story we now laugh hysterically about.) She became a part of my new beginning and our friendship is fuller as a result.
This holiday season, the next time a friend or family member says, "Here, I want you to have this" or "Let me help you with that," take a deep breath, open your heart and say "Yes."
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